


The Salt and Pepper Brothers

by IAmWhelmed



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, F/M, I mean come on it's an AU, M/M, Pairings aren't "official" for this AU, Paranatural Treasure Hunter AU, Romance, So yeah, This is just what I ship and I wanted to write it, language warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmWhelmed/pseuds/IAmWhelmed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac and Ed are the world's most notorious treasure hunters/thrill seekers/robin hood-esque vigilantes- the Salt and Pepper Brothers. Well, nobody knows that they are who they are, but that's fine with them. Max is their designated expedition driver who would really prefer to not be killed in the line of duty. Spender is a private-eye searching for the kidnapped-for-ransom Grandpa Guerra. Isabel is the private-eye's lackey that got kidnapped a lot as a child and is, as a result, now a force to be reckoned with. Suzy just wants to capture a picture of the illusive Salt and Pepper Brothers for the newspaper- after all, she's going to be the best reporter Mayview (or the world) has ever seen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Really just an idea that was boiling in my mind so I figured I'd write it all out- or at least the beginning of it all. Probably won't continue this unless explicitly asked to, but there are other AUs I'm sure people would rather see more. XD

“Come on, darling, just give me one more chance.”

Collin snorted and brushed his pretty blonde employee’s hand off his shoulder. She was a dame with a will of iron and a body that would make an god green, but he’d known her too long- knew her too well. She, perhaps, was his best reporter (those big blues certainly helped), but he doubted that even she could catch an interview with the elusive Salt and Pepper Brothers. It was impossible. If it weren’t for the artifacts left on the stoops of museums in the dead of night, and the signed notes (it hadn’t been the townspeople to coin their pen-names), Collin almost wouldn’t have believed they existed.

“But darling, I was so close!”

She leaned forward so that he could feel her heartbeat against his head, her hands rubbing soothing circles into his back as though she was his wife or something equally as ridiculous. She wishes… “Suzy, your feminine wiles will only get you so far.”

“And what? You’re so far?”

“I am.”

She pouted and came to stand at the front of his desk, arms crossed indignantly. She might have looked threatening if her hip hadn’t been sticking out like a petulant child. He hummed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs over the desk. It was his subtle way of reminding her that it was, after all, his office. “Okay, Collin. I’ve been nice about this, but if you want me to get mean-”

She leaned forward again, manicured nails scratching the exterior of his mahogany desk. He winced and glanced at her hand. It was just enough time for her to reach into the cup that held all of his pens and pencils and, as though it were a knife, stab it into the desk right beside his legs. Collin jumped, but remembered who it was he was dealing with. Suzy wasn’t dangerous. Ambitious, yes. Willing to do anything? He tugged at the tie that’d become tight around his throat. Yes, she was quite willing to do anything- except murder the only man that could get her name in with the higher-ups. She wouldn’t dare lay a hand on him.

“Yes, yes, I know. You’ll get mean.” He cleared his throat. “Look, Suzy, I’m only trying to protect you here. I covered for you last time, but if you don’t snap some actual pictures of the brothers…”

“It’ll hurt my career. I know.” She stood up straight and grabbed the camera that she’d laid on the desk when she’d strode into the room. “If any woman should risk that, it sure as hell is me.”

 

“Okay,” Isaac laid the map out across their table, brushing away their empty bowls and even emptier plates. It was just the right width, leaving only the edges of the map falling over the sides of the table. It was partly why he’d chosen that specific bar. Smaller tables made for irritating game planning. Their job was stressful enough. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not struggle through a Vietnamese jungle. It’s not great for the skin, I’ve heard. In that case, we’ll have to cut through the water.”

“Oh, so I get to shoot an alligator in the face-!”

“No, Ed. No.” Isaac sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to watch his long-time partner chug what was left of his soup bowl- the one Isaac had pushed aside because he’d figured Ed was done with it. “We’ll take a boat over there or something.”

“So…”

“No, you don’t get to shoot a hole in the boat.”

Ed exhaled sharply through his nose and leaned forward, tossing his bowl somewhere behind him. It hit somebody, but Isaac doubted they’d pick a fight. He could count on one hand the number of times a particularly burly man approached their table looking furious- but Isaac couldn’t even use a finger to count the times said burly man didn’t walk away with a tail between his legs. “What? Why would I do that?”

“You once asked me if you could empty your gun into an ancient Egyptian mummy.”

“No, I asked if I could empty my gun into the mummy’s tomb because I was happy we finally found him. Those were celebration shots. That’s different.”

Isaac inhaled. “It doesn’t matter!” He tried his best to regain his cool and, probably, his concentration, but the band on stage started playing- which would have been fine had they not taken a seat at the foot of the stage. The sounds of a kaval echoed in the small length of the bar, filling his ears as it set the tone for whatever performers were intended to come out on stage. He grunted and Ed snickered. “Look, can we just focus on the task at hand?”

“Yep yep yep.”

The bamboo reed pipes kicked in, the silky red curtains on either side of the stage pulling forward as the silhouettes of women moved swiftly and slowly on the other side. Isaac tuned it out in favor of looking at the map. “Once we hit shore, you and I can set up camp. It’ll probably take us a few days to copy the translations onto a sheet of paper. The last thing we want is repeat of Paris. That translation book costed us both our right hands.” Figuratively. Usually that’s what Ed would have said. It was a hobby of his, adding ‘figuratively’ or ‘literally’ to everything Isaac said- figuratively. But it didn’t come. “Ed?”

His eyes were somewhere else, wide behind his glasses. His mouth hung open like a fly trap, shoulders tensing as he waited patiently to catch his prey. Isaac had seen that look before, in tombs and broken castles and fallen cities. He saw it when they found a chest filled to the brim with gold and jewels; he saw it when they stumbled upon books thousands upon thousands of years old.

He’d never seen Ed look at anything else like that- ever.

Isaac’s eyes drifted to the stage, where a crowd of belly dancers swayed to the beat of the bamboo reed pipes. Their hips swayed with precision enough to cut tension in the air. Each move was calculated as they bent backwards, waving thin veil-like sheets in the air above them and around them. They spun around and waved the sheets up and down, then out and in.

But there was one woman who stood at the front, the golden chains and diamonds that fell from her top shifting and jingling every sway of her hip. Her red sheet moved around her body like it was another limb, melding with her bare stomach and falling through the air to her command. She swung her hips in circles, moving her hands in circles while the girls behind her followed and accented each flick of her wrist. Her long black hair fell over her face and over her shoulders, looking soft enough to run her fingers through. Her eyes were brown, but there was something daring and dangerous behind her gaze, as though she was beckoning the crowd to her feet. In that moment, she had control of the room, carrying her body in circles so that the sheet followed. It was a sunset, coming and going as she commanded. The other girls followed in her path shortly after she stopped, beginning to shake her hips so that the golden chains there jingled.

Isaac couldn’t help it. He broke out laughing into his hands, setting his elbows on the table so that, when Ed caught him outright mocking him, he wouldn’t knock Isaac out of his seat. “If you tell her you’re half of Salt and Pepper, she might just let you take her to dinner.”

Ed didn’t respond. Isaac reached out and snapped his fingers. “Ed?”

“I heard you…”

 

“No.”

“Seriously? Come on,” Isaac leaned over the glass counter of Max Puckett’s shop, tapping his fingers half-mindlessly on the top. He jolted when Max reached out and set his hand on his, hissing for him to stop. Isaac rolled his eyes and crossed his arms instead. “You’re our designated ride.”

“I’m a glorified chauffeur.”

“Max.”

“No, no way in hell! Not after last time!” Max reached into the back and pulled out a corroded chain, taking a cloth and wiping it down with some chemical Isaac didn’t recognize the smell of. “I’ve got a little sister to provide for. If I end up dying like I almost did in that avalanche-”

“Or the tsunami…”

“-Or the goddamn pirate-ship! What’s going to happen to Zoey?”

“Zoey is a married woman who can take care of herself, Max. You’re right to worry about her, but you’re not her sole provider anymore.” Isaac followed Max around from the other side of the counter. “You’ve passed that torch to her and her husband.”

Max snorted and turned his back to Isaac, very plainly ignoring him like he always did when he didn’t have some witty comment to bite back with. Isaac was used to it- their little dance. He’d ask Max to be their getaway ride and Max would refuse, then he’d realize how boring his life was without the Salt and Pepper Brothers and he’d come running back for the adventure. It would have been fun if Max wasn’t faster to think up a reply. “You know what might help you?” Max ignored him still, but Isaac continued on with only a cough. “Settling down yourself.”

“You know what might help you? Not sounding like every woman I’ve ever treated to a date.”

“Oh my god…”

“I’m not interested in marriage, Isaac. You know that. The sooner you and every other single woman in this town get that, the sooner we can all move on with our lives.”

Isaac choked on his own air, placing an affronted hand at his chest. “You make it sound like I’m interested in marrying you.” Which he certainly wasn’t. Isaac was as straight as a kite without wind. Hell, even if he wasn’t, Max wouldn’t have been on his list of men to marry. Max lived in Mayview- the last city Isaac would ever want to settle down in. He’d had enough of the sad suburban town when he was growing up. Marrying Max meant willing living in the greenest, most boring city ever for the rest of his life. He couldn’t do that.

Besides, Isaac wasn’t interested in marrying at the tender age of twenty-four. He figured he’d live out the better part of his thirties before finding a beautiful woman in a foreign country and changing her last name. Maybe he’d end up somewhere like New York or Mumbai? Either way- not Mayview.

Max chuckled and looked over his shoulder, eyes speaking of mischief and arrogance. “I’m surprised we’re still pretending you aren’t.”

“Okay, okay.” Isaac shook his head and went straight for the door, irritated and eager to get out the door before Max could seen him sweat. If he wanted to think he was so desirable, then he could think that. Isaac wasn’t going to be the one to try and knock some modesty into him. That could be the job of some resilient woman who actually cared enough about Max to put up with his personality in the meantime. “Fine, but I guess that means you’ll be missing out on the priceless gem we’re after! You’re gonna need rent money soon, aren’t you? Oh well.”

He could hear Max start to say something snarky in response, but Isaac was out the door before he could hear it.

 

“I told you, Isabel, your grandfather would want you to go home.”

“And I told you, Mister Spender, that I don’t plan on it.”

She could hear him sigh somewhere behind her, probably running his hands through the obnoxiously long strands of hair he needed to get trimmed. She leaned closer to the mirror, sliding her lipstick across her skin. Red painted every inch of pink, leaving her lips retouched and ready for another performance. Isabel made a popping sound and clicked the top back on the lipstick. “I might not enjoy dancing, but it is preferable to leaving him locked in some unknown dungeon for the rest of both our lives.” She reached into her top and readjusted her chest, making sure they weren’t going to fall out of the fabric next time she went on the stage. “Besides, I just so happen to be good at this. The money’s coming in faster than it would have taken me to find him, myself.”

“Even if that’s true, which I don’t think it is…” Spender’s hands came to a rest at her back, readjusted the straps of her top so that they weren’t tangled and twisted. Had it been anybody else, she might have shrugged them off. His hands fell to her shoulders, where he twisted her around to face him.

He looked horrible, probably because he was spending his nights looking for nonexistent clues for a case he wasn’t going to solve anytime soon. A case he thinks I couldn’t help him with… Isabel turned her head away, blowing the single stray black hair out of her face. Some private eye she was turning out to be. She couldn’t even save her grandfather- and she was supposed to take over the business some day? She was the granddaughter of Francisco Guerra and the apprentice of Richard Spender, a ‘prodigy’ mind and she was useless to do anything but just pay the ransom. “Even if you raise the money, there’s no way of knowing-”

“I don’t need you to tell me how a basic kidnapping works! It’s not like I haven’t been held for ransom, like, eight times.”

Spender sighed and, against her will, pulled her into a hug. As much as she wanted to be mad at him for it, she couldn’t be, The hug was too familiar. It reminded her of when she first started working under him, the days when she was too young and too naive to save herself as she dangled over a boiling pit of lava. Those were the days he’d find a way to save her, busting in through the door with her grandfather at his side and a confidence in his walk. She’d rush into his arms with tears streaming down her face and he’d hold her and squeeze her and let her know that she wouldn’t be eaten by a lion. As much as she hated to admit it, it still worked. Even though she knew he was struggling every day and night, his embrace somehow still made her feel like he was going to figure it all out and everything would be okay.

“We’ll get him back, Isabel.”

 

Just as Spender left, leaving her feeling both optimistic and cautious somehow, another man found his way in. She was leaning against her dressing room’s vanity, then, studying her makeup to be sure she’d stopped the tears she’d been feeling before they ruined her makeup.

He was a tall man- blonde, round glasses, but fit. There was a stubble around his chin and jawline, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was meaning to grow a beard. She was quite fond of the shadow, really, and thought that a beard would have been too much. He approached her cautiously, albeit with a facade of bravery. He was trying to act like he’d spoken to women like her a million times and that she wasn’t making him nervous, but she could see him trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It was endearing.

He opened his mouth, then closed it and glanced to his side. She watched his tongue dance behind his cheek. He was thinking of something to say. “You dance good.” She tittered into her hand and he smacked himself in the face, laughing at himself and shaking his head. “Uh, I’m Ed. If I haven’t already ruined the first impression, I was hoping I could get your name?”

“I don’t know, you do seem a little strange.”

Ed opened his mouth again, ready to retort, but she was ready for that. She batted at him with her sheet and deadpanned. “I’m joking- I love strange. My name is Isabel.”

Ed laughed with a hint of nervousness. She watched his hands from the corner of her eye, observing how they twitched at his sides. “Isabel, huh?”

“No, Isabel- not Isabella.”

“No, I was asking-!” Ed swallowed and she bit her lip to keep from laughing at him. She was yet to tell if he was nervous because he thought she was pretty, if it was just his personality, or something else. Something told her it was a mixture of all three. “Okay, um, I heard you talking to the guy I passed on my way in here… I uh,” Isabel felt herself take a step forward almost instinctually, heart racing in her chest in a panic. What if he was sent by her grandfather’s kidnappers? What if-?

Ed shrugged and gave her an awkward smile. “I’m half of the Salt and Pepper Brothers. I think I can help?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Johnny is the personification of "FIGHT ME" to which Isaac and Ed reply, quite solemnly, "Nah".

It was sometime passed 7:00. The stars had long replaced the clouds. The bright blue that once fell like petals over their small city had shifted into the beautiful nightfall they knew well. The moon was the only light they had, aside from possibly the glow of the diamonds and rubies. Isabel thought it odd that somebody as renowned for their caution would keep all of their greatest treasures in their bedroom. Though, to be fair, it was Jhonny she was thinking about. It was with little stretch of the imagination why Jhonny might have kept priceless jewelry in his bedroom- where he could show the ladies. Isabel cringed and unfolded her sixth sheet of paper. It was a letter.

'My dearest Johnny and his flame,'

Isabel tossed it behind her just like the others. “He has quite a few admirers.”

“Really? Were all of those love letters?”

“Every single one of them. Different handwriting, too.”

“What a hound...” She might have heard him wrong, but Ed almost sounded playful. 'I suppose he’s grown used to speaking with a pretty girl.'

“Ah, I think I found it!”

She was on the other side of the room in seconds, crouching beside him as he pulled her holy grail out of Jhonny’s nightstand. Ed gave her a smile as he unrolled the paper, revealing a very colorful map with a very distinct red dotted line leading through a small part of India. Isabel gasped and squeezed his arm, probably harder than she should have. Ed hissed and she slowly loosened her grip. “So this it, then? We can save my grandpa?”

“Once we figure out a strategy, yes.”

She felt odd, finding help from somebody who wasn’t Mister Spender. After all, the man had been there her entire life. He was the reason she’d been kidnapped ninety percent of the time, but without fail he’d always come to save her.

She recalled once specific memory, being kidnapped by a group of people she couldn’t even remember the name of. It’d been early on in her life. She wasn’t any older than ten at the time. Even so, she’d already been kidnapped more than any well-off girl in the city. On her way home from a particularly grueling day at school, she’d stopped to get some ice-cream, hopefully something to cool her down. It was, after all, the very beginning of summer. School wouldn’t let out for another week or so. If she was honest, she’d certainly realized that there was something odd about the man at the counter. He was sweating profusely, even more than the heat of early summer could, shifting on his feet like every single move was calculated. His fingers twitched and so did his eye. She should have known, but alas she was only a little girl. She’d been snatched up with a blindfold and a napkin in her mouth before she knew what was happening. They’d tied her in a net and left her there to hear them sending Spender and her Grandfather threats. “Let (criminal) out of jail” she’d heard them say “or she falls head-first into a shark pit”. She’d almost wished they’d put muffs over her ears. It’d been an hour in when she managed to squirm around enough to get the blindfold to fall. To her horror, there indeed was a shark-filled tank below her, their fins waving around dramatically. Nowadays she wouldn’t have been so scared, she thought. They’d set a large hourglass upside down on the desk to the side of the room, so she had the pleasure of watching the seconds til her death tick away. Then, just as the last grain of sand fell through to the other side, Spender and her grandfather kicked open the door with guns a-blazing. Her grandfather handled the kidnappers while Spender climbed the stairs to the railing above her and hoisted the net up so that she fell into his arms. She remembered hugging him and squeezing his neck with her arms, wrapping her legs around his chest (because she was still too tiny to reach his waist) as he carried her over to her grandfather.

She’d never trusted anyone the way she trusted Mister Spender. That was why it felt so odd coming to somebody else for help- let alone a man that claimed to be the Pepper of the Salt & Pepper Brothers. She supposed she’d felt trapped for the first time as a woman. After all, she’d grown wise to foolish men and weak traps and was seldom grabbed for ransom- even if she was, she escaped by herself. Spender rarely had to rush to her rescue anymore, settling his partner down with calming words and loaded guns. She supposed that was why they’d kidnapped her grandfather this time. It left Spender lost without his partner and her unsettled and unsure of herself. They couldn’t rattle anyone by strapping her to a chair and begging for cash anymore, so taking her grandfather instead was the next best thing. Unfortunately for herself and Spender- it worked.

For once in her life, Spender was as much of a mess as she was. He was scared and hopeless and everything she’d ever known about him was coming crashing down and now she had to rely on a stranger to help save her grandfather because Spender was letting her down but she wasn’t any better and-!

Ed set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Someone’s coming.”

“I thought you said you lent this map to Jhonny?”

Ed winced and shrugged his shoulder, standing tugging the blankets off the king-size bed beside them. “I might have lied.”

She came to stand too, rolling the map up and stuffing it into her corset. “We’re stealing it?”

“To be fair, Johnny stole it from us first. I’m the one who made this map.”

Ed carried the blankets across the room and tied one end to the dresser beside the window. Isabel watched him with caution. She hadn’t really asked for proof when he’d offered his assistance. He’d said “I think I can help” and she’d latched onto him like some foolish leech. Now there they were, stealing from a stranger. She hadn’t considered she might be assisting a common thief. “You expect me to believe that?”

“Well, yeah. Johnny’s Big Red.”

“The... serial killer?”

Ed paused and tilted his head. “He’s not a serial killer, no. Wow, those rumors have gotten out of control. No, Big Red’s a thief. He’s real famous in the north.”

“Let me guess, he just so happens to be your rival?”

“He thinks he is, but he’s not.”

He raised his arm, motioning for her to come closer. She followed before she thought about it, which is really something she ‘oughta do. He turned her around and started wrapping the blankets around her lower waist, turning her in fast circles until there was little else left to wrap her in. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting us out of here without breaking our bones, I hope.”

“Can’t we just climb down the tree we used to get up here?”

“Not fast enough.” Ed sighed and glanced at the door, reloading his pistol. “Isabel, I’m sorry about this.”

“About what?” She yelped as he wrapped and forceful hand around her waist, tugging her against him like she was his lover and he’d been gone too long. She wrapped her arms around his neck almost on instinct, snarling at the hand she found a little too close to her rump. “Ed!”

Just then, the door crashed open with a good kick from the other side. Johnny stood there with his own pistol readied, cocking it and pointing. “Dammit, Burger!”

“Aw, why would you damn it when you could be damning me? I’m the one that broke in!” He winked and leaped up onto the windowsill. “Tell your gang I said hi! They're always so much friendlier than you!” Isabel yelped as Jhonny took a shot right by her head, smack between herself and Ed.

“Ed!”

He was already firing back by the time she said it, pushing his feet off of the windowsill and sending them flying out of the third floor. She would have screamed, but she felt as though she’d been punched between her lungs, leaving only hot air spilling from her lips. They twisted in circles on their way down as the blankets unraveled around her. Jhonny was taking shots at them as they fell; she could hear each individual bullet fly past her head or hit the blanket seconds after she’d rolled out of it. Ed was taking shot back every time he got the chance. One bullet must have hit, because Jhonny’s shots stopped coming. With a sudden pull of the end of the blanket, she and Ed hit the ground.

Isabel groaned and lifted her head, only to set it back down when she found her neck too sore to move just yet. Upon opening her eyes, she found Ed splayed atop of her, one cocky eyebrow raised. She smiled up at him because, despite his arrogance, she could see a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I have to admit that was impressive.”

“That’s what I was shooting for...”

Isabel’s fingers played with the fabric of Ed’s shirt, eyes trailing over his face the longer they sat there. A laugh bubbled up in her stomach, and when she giggled he did too. They fell into mutual laughter, although she wasn’t sure if it was the nervous, embarrassed, or shy variety. That was odd. She’d never, ever been a shy girl. Even so, Ed’s boyish nature was certainly fresh and uplifting. She supposed she’d continue to trust him, for the moment.

A bright light clouded their vision, and the two jumped to see they were at the foot of a familiar vehicle, of which the headlights had turned on. Isaac peeked out the side of the car, what Isabel could only assume was a teasing smile on his lips. It made sense, him teasing Ed. If they were brothers, as their pen-name implied, it wasn’t odd that they’d elbow each-other and shoot knowing glances at each-other because there was a pretty girl around. She and Ed were in a compromising position...

“I know you’re about the thrill, Ed, but Johnny’s probably on his way out to the door right now and you’re fresh out of bullets.”

The two sat up, Ed offering her a hand that she rejected. “Wait, how do you know that?”

“Ed never reloads his gun all the way. Thinks he’ll run out of bullets slower if he doesn’t. That gun holds six. He shot three.”

She climbed in the passenger seat and Ed climbed in the back, reloading his weapon again. “Shut up and drive!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what I said about not writing more of this unless people specifically asked for more... but I like the Treasure Hunter AU too much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's really no plan to be spoken of, which is fantastic when you're talking about road trip plans but horrible when you're trying to explore an ancient temple in China.

It was late into the night when they met at the camp. She wasn’t particularly sure what she’d been expecting. Yellow tents filled a small camping area, a bonfire lit and raging to her height in the air. Isaac led Isabel and Ed to the biggest tent on sight, pulling the curtain open to let them in. There were boards with marked maps, covered in red tacks and red lines of yarn. There were more maps lying haphazardly in overfilling chests and atop cluttered desks, alongside piles of thick books she assumed were more than novels meant for light reading. She spotted a few pictures spread around some emptier tables, mainly of Ed and Isaac in front of monuments she’d probably never even heard of.

One photo was of Ed and Isaac in what appeared to be Egypt. They stood in a museum before a line of ancient relics under glass cases, Isaac snapping the picture and Ed failing to notice. In the next picture, it was clear that Ed’s attention had been drawn by a little something called security guards, judging by the blurriness of the shot and the mess of red in Ed’s pocket- probably a ruby of some sort. There was one of the two of them in front of a small castle, presumably a lord’s home in the old days. It was covered from chimney to stairs in vines and mold, but she could see they’d cleared out a small section in a window on the second floor. Isaac had his arm around Ed’s shoulder and Ed had his arms around a stack of gold. His grin was from ear-to-ear. Isaac’s other arm was helping Ed to support the weight of all the gold, so who took the picture?

The first person to greet her was a man sitting backwards in a black-painted chair. He turned a steely gaze upon her from under his flat cap hat, tapping his fingers along the wood. He smiled at her. Isabel didn’t think him any different than any other man she’d ever known- he looked at her the same way. It was vague, he hid it well, but she read through his hospitable grin. It was in the twitch of his upper lip and that squint of his eye- the same thing she’d found most men wanted in her time as a performer. “I’ve heard you’re a damsel in distress? You don’t look it to me.”

She bit back the obligatory ‘because I am not’ and walked up to him, swaying her hips the way she’d watched the women do when she was growing up. She stood beside him, but reached over his head for one of the maps she’d seen splayed across the table. It looked like an ancient temple in Brazil, the place she recalled the latest Salt and Pepper Brother’s retrieval to have hailed from. She raised an eyebrow at it. If she’d had any doubts about who Ed was before, she knew he was telling the truth then. She glanced at the stranger from the side. “What do you think I am, then?”

He shrugged and tipped his hat. “A beautiful woman who needs a little help.”

Isaac hit the stranger upside the head, knocking the hat clean off his head. The stranger yelped and reached forward to grab it. “Not from you, she doesn’t.”

She knew what would happen next. The stranger would get annoyed and accuse Isaac of a large list of things, including but not limited to a small nature’s gift and a lustful eye- simple projection, really. Much to her surprise, the stranger slipped his hat back on his head, smirked, and said “You’re really helping the ‘not wanting to marry me’ case…”

Isaac turned red in the face and swatted at the stranger again, this time moving nothing but the air. The stranger ducked and laughed and Isaac groaned and resigned to reaching for something in his pocket. “If you’re going to be like this, then go back home!”

“You said you needed me?”

“I was mistaken.”

The stranger pretended to drive a dagger through his heart, falling back into his chair as he faked sheer agony. “You don’t need me? How will I ever go on?”

Isaac pulled the keys out of his pocket and tossed them to the stranger, aiming for his face and hitting his throat. “You’ll start the car and drive away- that’s how.”

“Isaac, come on.” She nearly jumped to find Ed so close to her, towering over her and snatching the map from behind. She craned her neck so that she could look up at him and in return he smiled and handed her the map they’d snatched from Jhonny. She smiled back and took the map in one hand, opening it with the flick of her wrist. “Don’t be that way. You’re the reason he’s here at all.”

Isaac blinked and squinted while the stranger looked overwhelming offended, his cheeks coloring even though he held his composure. “I’m here for Isaac like I’m here to be safe.”

“Really? Because that’s not what you told me?”

“I did not say I was here for Isaac. I’m too macho for that.”

Ed tilted his head innocently, but there was an almost malevolent gleam in his eyes. “You did, and it doesn’t matter if you didn’t because Isaac will believe me either way.”

Isaac frowned and leaned over the table, slipping the ammo out of his pocket and setting it down. “I’m starting to think you lie to me just because you can?”

“Well,” Ed shrugged “you wouldn’t be wrong.” He turned to Isabel and laid a hand upon her shoulder, nodding to the stranger. “Sorry for the informal introduction, Isabel. This is Max. He’s our getaway driver and, unfortunately for Isaac-”

“Hey!”

“He’s also a lady’s man.”

Max rolled his eyes, but offered Isabel his hand anyway. She smiled back and took it, not surprised in the least when Max kissed the back of her hand. She could see where they were getting “lady’s man” from, but she knew better. He was charming and certainly handsome, but he was too stiff when he kissed her to be doing it often. His palms weren’t sweaty, per se, but they weren’t dry either. The man before her might have had a lot of women, but he was far from a “lady’s” man. She glanced at Isaac, who seemed more focused on clearing the table of the maps and books it’d accumulated than Max’s overt flirting- seemed. She saw his gaze wander at the corners of his eyes, but it was gone just as fast.

When Max pulled his lips from her hand, she gave him a smile and nodded her head. “You’re Isabel.”

“I am.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise!”

 

 

“So the plan is…?”

“Get the necklace and exchange it for Guerra’s life.”

Max frowned and glanced over the detailed map Isaac had pretty much made a mess on the floor for, swiping off everything so that they could call get a clear view of the temple they’d (Isaac and Ed and maybe Isabel- certainly not him) be ransacking for all its worth. He had to admit, Ed had a knack for art. All of the lines were so detailed, it was like he’d just been taking pictures and stapling them together to make a larger portrait. Even so, he worried that wasn’t enough. Ed and Isaac had never actually been inside that specific temple. From what he’d heard, it’d been their first ever excursion. That was to say it ended horribly. Another treasure hunter had chased the early brothers away with bullets and vicious guard dogs. To Max’s understanding, they were going to be doing it all over again- just with more experience and a little more company.

Something deeply unsettled Max about the idea, but he knew there was no talking Isaac out of it. Ed might have been a better horse to bet on, but it was clear the thrill wasn’t Pepper’s only purgative this time around. He glanced Isabel up and down. He couldn’t exactly blame Ed. Isabel was a beautiful woman, and smart if she was half as sophisticated as her words. A raven-haired bombshell with long eyelashes, a strong mind, and an amiable smile; Ed certainly had a type. Red was her color, he would have been able to tell even if she wasn’t wearing that dress. Everything about her screamed red- the determination, the fire in her big brown eyes, the attention to detail…

Isaac’s shoulder brushed his as he pulled a line of yarn across the map.

Ed was long overdue for a lady friend. Isabel wasn’t really his type, anyway.

“I meant about actually getting the necklace?”

Isaac seemed surprised at Isabel’s question, if not thoroughly confused. He glanced at Ed, who shrugged his shoulders and said “Well, we get the necklace. That’s about it.”

“But how?” She traced her finger along the little tacks that represented aggressors, “look at all of these men! Are we going to sneak by or take them all out?”

Isaac and Ed shrugged together.

Isabel glared between the two of them, crossing her arms in disbelief. “We’re just gonna go in there guns a’ blazing?”

“That’s usually our plan, yeah.”

“How in god’s name are you two still alive?”

They both gestured to Max.

“Ed and I have done this a million times over- the guys aren’t going to be the issue.” Isaac pointed to the actual temple. “The temple is. It’s booby-trapped to all hell. The guy that chased us out died in there, last we heard. One of his men took his place.”

Isabel glanced up from the map, the corner of her lips twitching. “So is that why you’re not feeling threatened?”

Isaac cocked an eyebrow and frowned at her, the same way he usually raised an eyebrow at Max when he’d asked a stupid question. “Among other more important reasons, yes.” Max snickered and took a sip of water from his canteen. “As I said before, we’ve been doing this a long time, Miss Guerra. You don’t need to ask why when you already have the how.”

Ed’s brows furrowed. “Isaac, come on-”

“So what questions should I be asking, then?” Isabel straightened up and crossed her arms. Max thought it a challenge. Isaac’s eyes would have rolled into the back of his head if he’d let them. Instead, he took a deep breath and calmed down.

“You should be asking me what this necklace can do- because that’s what’s going to save your grandfather.” Isaac tugged a backpack out from under the table, snapping open the first pouch. Max watched intently as Isaac pulled out a book with a small spider emblem on the front of it- The Eightfold, as they’d come to call it. Isaac and Ed found it in a Greek city that was startlingly similar to Pompeii. From what he’d heard from the brothers, the city was nothing but stone and statues, statues that might have been people. Oddly, the only thing they were able to find was paper, folded, flying about, written on… The Eightfold had been lying under a very large, very feeble, statue. It’d collapsed at to touch of Ed’s hand when he’d tried to sit on it. That was how they found the book, under Ed as he lay on the floor complaining about how his arse hurt.

The Eightfold was filled to the brim with missing archeological dig spots and gems and gold and artwork- more than anything, magical relics. It was as though it’d been passed through hand to hand, one author to the next before finally finding rest in their hands. Isaac and Ed had turned their sights entirely on the book from that point forward, considering it almost a book of accepted challenges. It was no surprise to Max that they were once again turning to The Eightfold for an adventure. Isaac licked his pointer finger and flipped through the pages, humming until he landed on the right one. He set the book down for them all to lean over and see.

“The Origami Necklace, said to have been made by an old wise mine in A.D China for his wife. The book says it was his gift to her before he passed. She was depressed and scared, as anyone would have imagined she’d be. He told her he’d put all of his soul into the necklace, so he’d be passing soon, but he would always be with her even from beyond the grave! Isn’t that romantic?”

Max yawned, breaking Isaac out of the hopeless starry-eyed trance he’d let himself roll in for a while. With a glare in his direction, Isaac cleared his throat and very obviously tried to hide the blush creeping along his cheeks. “Anyway, not long after her husband went, his wife became careless and started leaving the house dirty, not bathing- that sort of thing. Well one night she left some candles lit and set her house on fire. The book says she didn’t even know until the morning. Not only did she sleep through it, but she was the only thing left standing in her home. Because she’d worn the necklace, she didn’t have an inch of her body burnt.”

Isabel read the page, frowned, and looked up at Isaac. “So, this is a fire-proof necklace made of paper, literally one of the most flammable things on this earth?”

“Yep!” Ed smiled and pointed to the map. “And that’s where we’ll find it!”

“Are we sure we wanna give men strong enough to capture a guy like old man Guerra immunity to fire?” Max saw the scowl he received from Isaac, but continued anyway. “I mean, I’m just saying. If we’re thinking about the greater good here…”

It wasn’t like he personally knew Guerra, let alone his granddaughter, but he’d heard stories. There were rumors about the things he’d done and the cases he’d solved that Max never would have believed if he didn’t have the night job that he did. Guerra and Spender were legends in Mayview, so hearing he’d been kidnapped set off his internal alarms. The men they were dealing with were dangerous and, if not dangerous, smart. Just handing over a priceless magical necklace, whether they knew it had powers or not, in place of money for a ransom just sounded irresponsible.

“My grandfather is the greater good!” Isabel slammed the book shut and threw it into Max’s chest, to which he gasped and choked on his own air. She stared him down with the same fiery eyes he’d noticed earlier, nostrils flaring possibly larger than her murderous aura. “When I save him, which I know I will, he’s going to go right back to working at the detective’s agency and he’s going to save more people than the goons that kidnapped him will ever live to hurt!”

She gripped Ed by his tie and pulled him to her, making for a very red-faced awkward Ed. “Could you do me a favor and show me where I’ll be sleeping?” Ed nodded wordlessly, gulping when she turned on her heel and dragged him out the curtains of the tent. He made eye-contact with Max before he went, to which Max nodded to Isabel and pursed his lips to make a kissy face. Ed’s cheeks got even redder. Max probably would have seen him grow as red as the sun had he hung around a few seconds more. Isaac watched them go, snatching The Eightfold out of Max’s hands and setting it back in the bag. “You don’t think she means to…?”

Max scoffed. “What? No! She’s in no mood.”

Isaac laughed. “Then why’d you-?”

“Just teasing him. I know you’re usually the victim, but he should get used to it, too, now that there’s a woman around to make a fool of him.”

Isaac laughed again and Max chuckled, too. He rose from his chair and started picking up the discarded maps and translation books. They couldn’t just leave them on the ground, after all. The brothers were horrid about organization, and if Max didn’t do it then they’d lose something direly important. He approached one of the less full chests and opened it, placing the books in a straight order. Max was beginning to fold the maps up when Isaac spoke again. “So why did you really come back?”

He paused and turned around. Isaac stood at one of the many desks in the tent, stuffing the backpack into yet another overflowing drawer. The innocent eyes read curious, but the small smile on his lips meant he knew the answer. Or, maybe not. Max shrugged and finished folding another map, setting it in the chest next to the other ones he’d folded. “You made a good point about my rent.”

Isaac snorted, but otherwise didn’t ask anything else.

 

 

“Do you carry tea with you everywhere you go?”

Ed shrugged as he handed Isabel her cup, taking his own and filling it with the tea he’d made over the fire. He took a seat beside her on the ground, but not too close because that would have made him look desperate or weird or some other thing he wouldn’t understand. She took a sip and winced immediately. “Too hot.”

“Sorry. I should have warned you.”

Isabel waved his apology off, but turned her attention on him. He felt his stomach do a flip, so the only plausible response was to chug hiss really, really hot tea. Isabel watched on in amusement, and he heard her titter when he coughed up a lung. “And I should have reminded you.”

He gave her a weak smile and she turned to face her lap.

The fire crackled and flared, which was a little comforting to him even when his heart was racing as he choked on leaf water. It wasn’t like he’d never spoken to women before. In his travels, he’d seen his fair share of beautiful ladies from all over the world. He’d flirted and kissed a few, and he had a few love letters from some of the women who were a little more serious. It was just that something about Isabel was different. She was interesting. She captivated him. At first he thought she was just brilliant at belly dancing, but then she was funny and witty and she didn’t seem interested in men at all and that was just so odd to him. Granted, it probably meant he’d walk away after the entire journey with a heart to mend, but having the experience at all was something he’d always hoped for.

“Ed, are you and Isaac really brothers?”

“No, I mean pretty much, but not really.”

She smiled and took a sip of her tea, humming when it warmed her throat like he’d known it would. Chamomile was always the best for a stressed body. She took another sip and looked at him again. Her big brown eyes batted at him, at least it felt like it, bright and beautiful in the light of the flames. He gave her another awkward smile before it fell through. He was too nervous to keep that up.

“But you get why I’m willing to do this, right?”

“Of course I do.” He shuffled a little, readjusted the tie around his neck so that it wasn’t choking him more than he was already being choked. “I’d do the same for Isaac- and Max. Max is kind of important.”

Isabel exhaled through her nose, probably more of a laugh than anything. “So I’ve heard.”

Ed laughed, too, shaking out his shoulders to try and get some of the tension out of them. It didn’t really work, but he felt a little better. “You’re not wrong for giving them the necklace, Isabel. Besides, if I know Isaac, we’re probably gonna end up stealing it back before they even think it has powers.”

“That’s comforting to know…”

“Yep.”

They fell into another silence, and it was even more uncomfortable for him than the last. Everything he thought of to start another conversation was stupid, objectively insulting, or lame-sounding. The last thing he wanted to sound like was a stupid child. It wasn’t like Isabel was- wait, was she older than them? Great, another conversation starter that was absolutely awful. He filled his cup with more tea, taking small sips because he didn’t want to look like he never learned.

“Would it help if I kissed you?”

He hadn’t heard that right, had he? His eyes felt so wide they were dry, but he was much more preoccupied with the fluttering in his stomach. She laughed at him and took another sip, watching him from over the rim of the cup with lidded eyes. She was messing with him. He laughed, too, and looked back down into his cup. The leaves hadn’t really settled enough for him to read a fortune of any kind, even if he’d believed in that sort of thing, so he was stuck following them as they waved around in the cup while he moved it from side to side. “You’re just really nervous around me. That’s the kind of thing that’ll get you killed- especially if we’re using the charge-in-blind strategy.”

“Kissing me would only make it worse, I think.” He rubbed his nose and sniffed. “We’ve got a day or two before we get there. I’ll probably be over it by then.”

“You think?”

“I think. Definitely not sure.” He chuckled and rubbed his nose again. “I mean, you’re really something else.” Her smile got even wider.

“I am!”

They laughed together, and she moved so that they were sitting closer together. He noticed, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to reciprocate. What if she didn’t want him to? He snorted and took another drink from his cup. Isabel hummed as she finished off hers before holding it out. He refilled it dutifully, and she nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Not just for the tea.” She shifted so that she was looking directly at him, and this time Ed figured it was only polite to do the same. She locked their gazes together, her own silent demand for complete attention he was starting to figure out. “For everything. You’re helping me save my grandfather and you won’t even have me kiss you for it.”

“I think we already established that it could literally be the kiss of death for me?”

She hit his arm and he chuckled out an apology. Isabel sighed and rubbed the spot where she’d hit him, her touch a little less emotive than he would have liked. “My point is, I thought there had to be a catch and you and Isaac haven’t asked for anything.”

“That’s just not why we do it.” Ed shrugged. “We’re getting paid; it’s just in adventure and campfire stories and all of that. Saving the Detective Guerra is going to be one for the books.”

Isabel seemed to pause, think it over for a moment, and then finish off her tea. Once she was done, she set the cup down and stood up, wiping off her dress and giving him a kind smile. “That sounds like a good time! I’m glad to be a part of it.” He returned her smile. After an exchange of nightly goodbyes, Isabel was in her tent and he wasn’t far behind falling into his own.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which you realize that Whelmed has no idea what planes and cars looked like in the early 20th century, and also that she had to look up what candies were being sold in the early 1900s.

“I’m surprised you’re not actually vying for this one.”

“Really?”

“She’s not a simple woman. Certainly a challenge and I know you like that.”

Isaac cocked an eyebrow at the shrug of Max’s shoulders. The plane ride was going to be a long one (roughly fourteen hours), so they’d stopped the car for snacks at a tiny little shop at the side of the road. An old friend owned it- Lisa, with blue eyes so white it made them wonder if there was really a soul behind her gaze. It was a part of the excursion tradition, stopping by Lisa’s on their way to the airport.

At first, it seemed like a cute little shop with a mysterious dame at the front of it, a rest stop for families on road trips and lost hungry men- and it was, to an extent. Lisa’s original intentions, however, lied beyond a kind, nurturing soul. The airport The Brothers were en’ route to was frequented by other travelers, men and women who dreamed of danger. Most flights to anywhere worth exploring were around twenty or so hours away, and so it was always a good idea to stock up on supplies when one had the chance. Lisa’s shop was placed with such an idea in mind, and she made quite the buck off of excited tomb raiders. That was all fine and dandy, and Lisa was a good soul,- until one realized that half of those teams of explorers never made the trip back, until they realized that Lisa sold flowers and picture frames and tissues. It was convenience and exploitation.

Lisa was still a fine gal, though.

Ed knew Max’s orders (gummy bears and peanut butter candies) as well as he knew Isaac’s (life savers and mary janes), but Isabel once again proved to be a curveball. They’d gone in together, leaving Isaac and Max to themselves. It happened so often, Isaac was starting to think his brother did it on purpose. “I like a woman with blue eyes.”

“I’ve seen you court women with hazel.”

“Hers are brown and she’s not my type. Besides,” Max drummed his fingers along the wheel of the car, gaze falling on the dirt road ahead of them, lined in the greenest grass Isaac had ever seen to the day. “It wouldn’t be fair to Ed if I made a move on her.”

Ah, so he was holding back. That wasn’t unlike Max, but Isaac could only name one other time he’d done so. It was a long time ago, around three or so years in their past, two years after they’d fancied themselves treasure hunters. Ed didn’t like to speak about it much, but Isaac knew both of them remembered it well. After all, Isaac was convinced Ed still had never quite gotten over it. The current position they were in was similar, similar enough that Isaac felt cautious if not perturbed by their new lady friend, but he was planning to keep that to himself. If Ed noticed the similarities, he wasn’t acting like it. He was just as reckless as the first time, before he or Isaac even knew any better. Be that as it may, mentioning it would only encourage Ed’s behavior, and it would be Isaac’s fault in the end if he got hurt again. “You think Ed has a shot with her.”

“In the dark, but a shot nevertheless.”

“You were wrong last time.”

“And if I’m wrong this time, you won’t let history repeat itself.”

That was a fair assessment. Isaac smiled and leaned back in his seat.

 

 

She’d spent an absurd amount of time tracking them before she finally gave in, per usual. Poor Zoey Puckett- sorry, Zoey Baines, the girl was married- had come home to Suzy sitting at the front of her porch, camera at the ready like it always was when they met. Zoey was Suzy’s perpetually-tapped information supply. Before every excursion, Maxwell Puckett flew into the arms of his sister and told her all about where he was going, why he was going, how she could reach him…

Needless to say, Zoey appreciated Suzy’s stalking. Even as a woman with her own duties to herself, her home, and her husband, Zoey was Max’s sister at heart. She worried about him when she wasn’t waxing soon-to-be-used coffins, and Suzy’s journalistic nose was the perfect excuse to send a caretaker in her place. They were headed to China, somewhere bordering the Sea of Japan. It was a temple she’d never heard of in a place no one ever wrote of, and so she was left with little to do but follow them and find out what pictures she’d be snapping.

That was always how the tale of The Salt and Pepper Brothers went. She’d spend hours doing actual detective work (it made her feel like more of a journalist) and ultimately end up flocking to dear Daughter Puckett- cough, Misses Baines- just to catch the boys as they hauled off on a small airplane to the country of the week. Snapping a picture of them when they got home always proved to be useless. As far as the paper was concerned, she’d just snapped a picture of the men rumored to be The Brothers. She’d buy a ticket to follow them, but she needed a picture of them to make money from the paper, and she needed money from the paper to buy a ticket, and she needed a ticket to follow them and snap a picture- and the cycle would continue.

Not this time, though. Oh no, Suzy spotted them sitting there in their mobile, literally sitting ducks. She clicked and unclicked her pen, batting her eyes at the notebook in her hand. She’d already written the article months ago, gone over it a million times and had a million friends and family and editors look at it; all she needed was a picture. Suzy fixed the neat bun her hair was in at the side of her head and slouched in her seat to hide.

 

 

“Are we really fitting all of this into the plane?”

“Yep!”

Isabel grumbled under her breath as she hauled bags of canned foods and candy equal to her weight and size over her shoulder. Ed was struggling too, and that made her feel a little better, but he seemed to be struggling slightly less than she was and that was a problem. She hated looking weak, especially in front of strangers. She supposed Ed wasn’t truly a stranger anymore, not entirely anyway, but she still hated to appear feeble. “You better have that plane fueled up! If we run out because we’ve stuffed it and end up crashing into the ocean-!”

“I’m sure your ghost will find mine and kill me all over again, but until then let’s gets these bags into the trunk.”

Isabel grunted as their bags came thumping into the trunk of the car, cans tingling and falling against each-other inside their restricted spaces. Ed whistled and wiped his hands as if he’d been handling dirt, and Isabel felt almost compelled to whistle, too.

“Are you done scaring that poor girl?” Isaac looked over his shoulder from the passenger seat, waving them over. “I swear we don’t eat all of that. Not unless we’re there for a week.”

“Which happens sometimes!”

Isaac knocked Max upside the head. Ed laughed and opened the car door for her to climb in. She thanked him and scooted into the seat, tugging on the ends of her dress. In hindsight, a pair of riding pants would have been a better choice, but she’d assumed she’d change when they touched ground in China. She sighed and adjusted the rims of her skirts. She’d deal with it like she’d planned. After all, she was nothing else if not stubborn. Ed climbed in beside her, slamming the door shut on his way in. “Get this heap of metal moving, Max! The sooner we get there, the better!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

They didn’t notice the headlights that came to life in their rearview mirror, and the certainly didn’t notice the blonde behind the wheel with a devilish grin on her red lips.

 

 

She waited until just the right moment, when they’d packed all of their foods in duffle bags and stuffed them into a passenger seat and strapped it in. How it was they could afford their own commercial plane was beyond her, but she guessed it made sense for world-famous artifact-seekers to have some dollars in their wallets. She wanted to think of something cool to say, something mysterious and edgy and witty, but all that came when she leaped out of her hiding spot behind a bush was “Hey!”

The group of four turned around- odd, Zoey hadn’t mentioned a woman- eyes wide, but not quite as ashamed as she’d expected them to look. In fact, surprise was about all she seemed to get out of their faces. Maxwell Puckett blinked at her as though she’d grown three heads, to which she promptly made sure her pants were tight around her waist and her jacket was straight. She would have fixed her hat, which was falling to the side of her head, but she thought better of it. It probably looked cute, anyway. The stranger of a woman glanced between her companions, big brown eyes blinking and hands twitching at her skirts. If her journalistic instincts were right, those were hands itching to make a move- like a criminal. She must have been some form of a drug cartel princess with her head held high like that, a woman Suzy was sure The Brothers would capture to bring to justice. Or, better yet, she was an actual princess they’d rescued and were on their way to returning home? That would have made for an even better story!

Isaac O’Connor and Edward Burger- the actual, real, in the flesh Salt and Pepper Brothers- looked at each-other and shrugged. Isaac was the first one to say a word. “Um, yes?”

Suzy smiled and took a deep breath. She’d been waiting forever, dreaming, pacing, planning for this moment for nearly a year. After months of failed articles and rejected blurry pictures, she’d finally find a real story in the palms of her eager hands. She could practically feel the paper under her fingers, taste the money and fame on her tongue. “You thought you were careful. You thought you were sneaky!”

“Did we?” Ed tilted his head, scratching the bridge of his nose just below his glasses.

“You thought nobody would ever find out!”

“About what?”

“Ed, hush.” Isaac raised a hand, a gesture far more vehement than his tone had been.

Ah, the sweet glower of fear she received from those piercing blue eyes! She tittered and took a few steps forward, reveling in the feel of the cement under her heels. One of her hands fiddled with the camera around her neck, its familiar lens cap twisting off as smooth as her stride. She snapped a quick picture from where it sat at her belt. She knew her shots well; that picture would come out as a clear picture of the Brothers and their plane. “But I did- all on my” she coughed “Mainly on my own. And now you two have to face the public as you were meant to all this time!”

Isaac held a defensive arm in front of Ed and gripped Max’s wrist with his other, barring his teeth like a caged animal. They all took a step back the further she approached. The power under her feet was intoxicating- mesmerizing, even. She came to a stop only a few feet away, pointing an accusing finger in Isaac’s face.

“You’re the Salt and Pepper Brothers!”

Isaac blinked, and she wasn’t sure if it was because her finger was nearly touching the tip of his nose or because Ed snorted. Wait- Ed snorted? Why did he snort? Her gaze fell over Isaac’s shoulder, where the other brother gestured to the bright orange writing on the side of the plane that read “The Salt and Pepper Brothers”.

“Oh gee, what a leap.”

“Wait, aren’t you Zoey’s friend? Suzy?” Max frowned and squinted at her.

Isaac gripped Suzy’s hand in his own, the touch surprisingly kind. The grimace she’d had him wearing before was replaced by a small gentle smile, furrowed brows and concerned eyes. She tried to take a step back, but her body felt as cold and frozen as it had on that one business trip to Antarctica. “Yes, we are The Brothers. I’m Salt and Ed over there is Pepper. Now, whatever it is you need, you can just ask us politely, can’t you?”

“Yeah, you are! You’re Suzy! You were a bridesmaid at her wedding!” Max continued in the background, waving at her wildly as though everyone should have been paying attention to what he was saying. She’d always heard Zoey say Max’s world revolved around himself, but she’d never interacted with the man enough to know.

“I- I- well-!” She was stammering? Why was she stammering? She’d had the upper hand only seconds ago! How could she have possibly gone from the queen of the battlefield to a measly pawn in three seconds? “I want” she lifted her camera up with her other, shaking, hand. “I want to- to take pictures of your” she cleared her throat “adventures to publish in my paper.” And when he says no, hit him with the “you’re not gonna say no, because I already took a picture of your plane and I have proof”!

“Of course!”

She blinked and stared up at Isaac’s kind eyes, finding her cheeks reddening with either the shame she was feeling for her weak words or the anger rising in her chest. Isaac laughed, his smile widening (probably because he was mind-controlling evil incarnate). “You really didn’t have to go digging around for evidence. You could have just asked us!”

“Wait. What?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement. She wiggled her fingers out of Isaac’s hands, clenching them into fists. “All I had to do was ask? I could’ve asked and you would have let me take pictures? Interview you? Publish your faces for the world to see?”

 

“Well, yeah, it’s not like we try to hide who we are or anything.” Ed shrugged and opened the door to the plane, pushing Max inside before he really had a chance to argue. “I mean, we kind of have a time-limit here, so you’ve gotta come with, but yeah we’ll totally take pictures and stuff.”

Isabel snickered as she glanced between Isaac, who was still trying to calm a very red, screaming Suzy down, and Ed, who was staring at her with wide confused eyes. She laughed and nodded to the cockpit, where Max was already settling in. “I thought you said Max was the lady’s man?”

“I like to think all three of us have a certain charm. Max just usually has more of it.”

She hummed and glanced away, nibbling jokingly on her bottom lip. “Tsk, I’m not sure I’d agree.”

She climbed into the plane, eyes already set on a seat by the window, not entirely unaware of the blush creeping across Ed’s cheeks.


End file.
